"When I began breastfeeding my second baby, Zoe, I could not imagine still feeding her on her 2nd birthday! I never intended to breastfeed a toddler, but here I was on her 2nd birthday responding to her request for a "booby" when I took her to bed. I would never have thought my little girl would be able to talk, work an ipad or do 32 piece jigsaw puzzles - whilst actually, literally breastfeeding.
We are all told breast is best and breastfeeding for the first 6 months to 1 year (and beyond) is recommended. I really enjoyed breastfeeding my children but didn't want to be breastfeeding a 2 year old. I am not saying those who want to continue breastfeeding beyond this age shouldn't, nor do I think Mother's who choose not to breastfeed at all are wrong either. It is all up to the individual, and that is fine. But for me I really didn't want to breastfeed beyond 1 year. But I was not prepared for the difficulty and heartache of trying to wean Zoe, once she turned 1.
When I had my first baby, Lilly, I breastfed her for 7 months. The first 8 weeks or so were hard, but after that it was as easy as anything. It made night feeds easier, everyone got better sleep. She would on occasion have a bottle of formula, especially if she was spending the night with my Mum. So when I decided to move on from breastfeeding it was an easy, straightforward and quick transition.
At 6 months Zoe decided she didn't want a dummy anymore. Great! I thought to myself. This will save some dramas down the track. This did mean she would continue to fall asleep at the breast (as she had done her whole life), and when she would wake in the night she would want to breastfeed. I didn't mind. I was just happy she was asleep and happy, and we continued this way until she turned 1. We set up the cot up against our bed with the side removed to give her more space (but still have "access" to me) and she loved it from the start.
I did try on various occasions to try her on a bottle, just so it would be easy for someone else to feed her if I needed to be elsewhere. She did not like bottles at all and would refuse to drink from it. I wasn't too fussed at the time.
After her 1st birthday I decided to try and wean her. All the advice told me to do it slowly, eliminating a feed a week. Try distracting her when she asks for it. Cover up. None of this worked for me. I tried on various occasions while she was 1 but it was just not working! She was miserable. I was miserable for making her miserable. The best I could do was eliminate day feeds, but continue to feed at night.
This lasted a week.
It seemed having no feeds in the day would cause her to make up for it at night. Her nappies weren't wet. She would barely drink anything else. So we went back to how we had always been. I felt wrong distressing her, she wasn't doing anything wrong. It was me and only me that was causing her to be unhappy. I felt terrible.
I scoured the internet for advice (as you do), and found this to be quite a common situation for Mum's who are breastfeeding and older baby.
As mentioned above, most of the advice was to wean slowly, and I knew this wasn't working for me. I came across one article where a lady was in the same boat as me. She wanted to assure all other Mum's who were struggling to wean their child, that one day it will happen. Her 2 year old suddenly lost interest in breastfeeding. Literally overnight. You can read her story here. Wow, I wish Zoe would do this. It would take away all the heartache. Could I be this lucky?
Just over a week ago Zoe had her 2nd birthday. In the days leading up, she wasn't feeding as much as usual. I thought maybe now is the time to try weaning again.
On her birthday she was easily distracted and no feeds whatsoever. I didn't refuse, she just didn't really ask. I did feed her that night - there was no way I was letting her go to sleep distressed on her birthday.
The next morning she didn't want one either. She didn't have one all day. She did ask when she was bored but when I would suggest something instead (whether a drink, or a game) she was easily distracted. What was going on?
The real test came at bedtime. Would she ask for one? She didn't. I was shocked! She laid there talking to herself, with me laying next to her. She got a little grumpy but no tears and eventually fell asleep.
She has not had her beloved "booby" since, and last night she slept through the entire night for the first time in her life. I have gone from having a baby that could not fall sleep unless she was being breastfed, to a baby who can fall asleep on her own (well I am still next to her, but that doesn't bother me), and sleep through the night. All in a week and basically cold turkey.
It seems Zoe was ready this time. There have been no tears (from either of us) and she is as happy as she has ever been. Her nappies are wet again and she is happy to have other drinks. She is eating better too!
There must be a "right" time, or a window of opportunity, somewhere along the line to wean your baby. I am so glad that I ended up waiting until she was ready, and now it doesn't matter how long I breastfed for. I don't wish I had persisted with one of my earlier attempts where both her and myself became distressed and unhappy. Just like with potty training, if you wait until they are ready, the transition will be easier than if you force it. And on that note, Zoe has used her potty a few times now of her own accord (yay!).
So for those Mum's out there who feel like their child will never show signs of weaning (and you wish they would), don't give up hope! I thought Zoe would be the last person in the world to lose interest in breastfeeding. But here we are :-). I finally feel like I have a toddler and not a new baby, and I am really excited about this new phase in our life"
UPDATE!!! Since writing this post over 4 months ago, Zoe is still a clingy little lovely, but she sleeps all night, she is confident, and extremely active. She and big sis Lilly have become great little friends (most of the time.
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